How to help your wife stay sane

As the years go by and your wife becomes a mother to one, or two, or three, or more (you might want to check if you married a superwoman if she has more than 4 kids), there are some things you can do to make life better for your wife. And we all know that if life is better for her, that translates to happy times for husbands and kids too. This is my version of how a husband can help his wife maintain emotional and psychological equilibrium in life.

1. Offer to help with chores & do them reasonably well

I don’t know about you, but laundry is a never-ending story in my household.

Once in a while, do your own laundry, hang them, fold them – do the works yourself.

Throw the thrash out, wipe the windows & fans. Clear the storeroom. Some chores are simply meant to be done by husbands.

If you’re feeling more hardworking, cook something over the weekends, or offer to buy lunch or dinner. Wives like this (at least I do! No cooking & washing up to be done).

2. Help with the kids.

Even if your wife is a SAHM, and taking care of the kids is technically her responsibility, it won’t hurt if you could help even a little bit. A diaper change for the bub, showering 1 out of 3 kids. Helping your kid with maths. It’s no joke staying at home a whole day, fetching the kids up & down from the school van/school a few times a day in between housework, cooking, baby napping etc. Try doing that for a day. I dare you.

If your wife is a FTWM, all the more you’ve got to help with the kids! Her responsibility is actually minding the children, but due to high costs of living, she’s now working to contribute to the household economy, so some help with the children would be much appreciated. You feel tired after a hard day at work? Imagine your wife, who has chores waiting for her every single evening. Moms don’t really stop working upon getting home. It’s just another shift in a different role.

3. Buy her a nice gift once in a while.

Ask if there’s something she’d like. Get it for her. It doesn’t have to be expensive, but it doesn’t have to be too cheap either. It doesn’t have to be monthly. It could be on special occasions. Her birthday, your anniversary. Just for keepsake & memory. I’ve not met anyone who disliked receiving gifts. Or how about some extra cash for her to spend anyway she likes? I mean, if you could splurge so much on an item you liked, or your monthly car payments, what is spending a few hundred dollars on your spouse?

4. When she shares a problem with you, she’s not asking for a solution. Most of the time, she just needs a listening ear.

Just listen & hold your tongue from offering a solution. Because it’s really not appreciated.

5. Don’t ask why she needs to make so many trips to the supermarket.

Unless you’d like to take over the role of going to the supermarket & market. Which means you need to know which stall at the market sells kampung chicken, kampung eggs & which stall sells the cheapest vegetables.

Groceries don’t remain intact you know, they get cooked, eaten up or they become bad. You may have bought 4 packs of diapers to last for some time but before you know it, you’re down to your 2nd last piece! These are reasons why wives make multiple trips to the supermarkets in a week! But even if you’d like to take over her role as the grocery-buyer of the household, do consider the fact that supermarket-trawling is actually a rather enjoyable & therapeutic activity at times. So, this is something she might actually look forward to doing for respite.

6. If something is spoilt at home, get it fixed fast. Like within a week? No fun seeing half lit hallways or other broken stuff.

And lots of doa to help your wife get through the days & weeks, of course.

Parenting – a time where the days are long & the years are short. Anything to help wives stay stable & sane are much welcomed.